Archive for July, 2017

Mystery Solved!

Posted: July 31, 2017 in True to Life

1 Month Old Bee Battle Almost Forgotten

Bee Carcass Found Under Workbench

Regretful, Unfortunate, Necessary

DeadBeeByQuarter

I Understand the Importance of Bees

But this one had it coming!

There I am… clearing out a few things in the garage when I come across the carcass of an old nemesis. I didn’t recognize the villainous bee at first, but then something sparked. I suddenly remembered a battle I had about a month ago. It was with a huge ass bee. As you can see (in the photo above), it’s practically the size of a quarter.

I swear, I am NOT into killing bees, but this one had it coming…honest!

How it went Down

It’s an early afternoon and it was already hot. I had to move a few things from the garage into the attic. Things in a box we won’t need for a while, but when we do need them we won’t remember where the hell we put it.
Anyway, after all that, I was using the electric blower to clear out the dust that was left behind from the items I just moved. When I finished, I placed the electric blower down while I still holding down the trigger. I also did a 180 degree turn causing it to blow everywhere, including underneath the workbench. I notice something black flying out and landed no more than six inches away from me.

I quickly noticed that it was bee; a very LARGE bee. It took a few moments, but I soon remembered.

The Bee Provoked

I’m just minding my business in the garage. Gathering a few VHS movies for the Facebook Page: Bring Back the VCR when suddenly I hear a buzz. Not just any buzz… a bee-buzz. Trust me, you know the difference.

I looked around but I didn’t see a bee. I was thinking that since I actually heard the bee-buzz maybe it was closer than I previously thought. I made sure that it wasn’t on me or anywhere near me. I then heard it again. Couldn’t find it but I could hear it. It was definitely in the garage with me and probably above the rafters.

The first time it fly into me I didn’t see or HEAR it coming. It came out of nowhere and hit me on the right side of my head. It didn’t sting but it didn’t hurt either. It then did a drive-by flying real close to my face.  It tried to do it again but I swatted at it causing it to fly off.

I was getting a bit upset. It wouldn’t leave me alone. More-than-likely, it was pissed because I got myself a towel and waved him out the garage a few times. I’m sure there was something in the garage it wanted, hopefully not a nest.

The First Last Stand

After about twenty minutes of battling this little bastard it landed on the garage window. And since I closed the garage doors when I noticed it was inside there was noway out. Maybe it was trying to make an escape…don’t know; don’t care. All I can say is that I was determined to end this charade.

I took the towel and smothered it and at the same time trying not to break the glass in the process. I doubled the towel over just to make sure it wouldn’t sting me. I could feel through the towel that it was buzzing. Probably desperately trying to escape. When I thought I had I good grab of it, I slowly pulled away.

Nope.
I didn’t have a good grip.
It flew out and hit me in the forehead.
It really freaked me out because the bee-buzz was so freakin’ loud!
I ran out of the garage – not out of fear like a wuss, but as a warrior planning the next strategic move.
Like grabbing a rolled-up newspaper to try and kill it. The “catch & release” method is no longer in effect. This is war.

The Second Last Stand

I walked into the garage wearing long sleeves, a baseball cap and armed with a rolled-up newspaper.
I can hear it.
It’s up in the rafters again.

I closed the door behind me. I’m sure it heard me. It knows I’m there and it doesn’t like it. I see it fly down from the rafters and along the back wall. It circled back but then it darted right at me.
I swung and I missed.

I barely missed it though, I know it felt the wind as the newspaper flew down right behind it; missing it by under an inch.

DSC09338

It flew along the closed overhead garage door. The bee-buzz was definitely intimidating. It made a left turn along the far wall away from me. It was huge. It didn’t like me, I could tell. That’s okay, I don’t like it and this MY garage.

I don’t use sprays, poisons, repellents, etc. This is “man vs nature”.

It flew around taunting me, of course, from a distance. Out of reach for a swing, but close enough to see that it was looking at me. I leered back. Betting that never saw a Clint Eastwood movie, I did my best Clint Eastwood imitation. It may have worked.

It was only a matter of time before it became a kamikaze and darted at me again. Honestly, I had to swing twice, but luckily I caught it something-good with a swift and powerful backhand. Venus & Serena Williams would be proud.

I knocked it square and it reflected in the direction of the closed overhead garage door… or so I thought. I tried to look for it but I didn’t find it.

This has to be that bee.
I haven’t seen a bee this size since.

I don’t condone bee-killing. I understand their importance. But this bee was on mission to “take me out” and I wasn’t having it. It assaulted me on numerous occasions so I had to “take matters into my own hands”.

Thank you for your time.

 

 

 

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Posted: July 16, 2017 in True to Life