In Mysterious Ways

Posted: December 17, 2016 in Region Rats, True to Life

camera-sword

A few months ago I purchased this sword handle and what looks like a small part of the blade that has been cut off (very short) and covered with a plastic cap. However, that’s not what I thought I purchased. The picture I saw was an actual sword, in fact, it was a man holding a full length sword. But to be fair, there was another picture that went along with this Ebay item. It looked exactly like the item I purchased, but I thought it was just a closeup shot of the sword handle.

Funny How Things Turn Out

Anyway…you’re probably wondering two things.

  1. Why was I purchasing a sword?
  2. Why is there a camera in the picture with the sword handle?

I’ll tell ya.
I wanted to purchase a sword because….duh, it’s a sword. Not just a sword though. It’s a sword that’s used during the practice of Tai-Chi.

That brings a third question:

3. Why am I interested in Tai-Chi?

I’ll tell ya.
Trying to control my impatience, anxiety and anger. Not saying that I have “issues”, but I’d like to learn how to channel any negativity into a positive thing (if there is such a way).

I wasn’t expecting a sword handle – I mean, just a sword handle?
Really?
People buy those?
So I receive this sword handle in the mail and I’m like “What the hell?”
You know?

I’m pissed.
I throw the item and it lands behind a sofa in the back room.

It stays there for months.
(to be continued)

As For The Camera

I had an audition for The Onion (an American digital media company and news satire organization that publishes articles on international, national, and local news. Wikipedia) and I decided to to take my camera along to take pictures for my Pixabay account. Unfortunately though, I’d forgotten that I took out the SD Card and I didn’t replace it. So taking the camera was totally useless. I just kept the camera in my backpack. So after the audition I went straight home.

When I got home I set my bag down next to my desk and it stayed there for two days. When I went to retrieve my camera to place the SD Card back in it I couldn’t find my camera. It was gone…GONE!

I was thinking that maybe I left it on the train, but why? I couldn’t use it. I didn’t have a memory card. Why would it be out? Why would I have it out?
I wouldn’t. I couldn’t use it.
I COULDN’T USE IT!

I looked around the house “off & on” for a week…couldn’t find it.
Finally, I came to the conclusion that somebody must have opened my bag and took it. That was the only way. I know I didn’t have it out…like I said, I couldn’t use it.

It’s been a month now and I’m happy to say that I found it!

That’s right!
I found it. It was in the back room on a shelf. I don’t remember placing it there, but there it was. Mystery solved.

Now, back to the sword.

Today I went back behind the couch in the back room and got the sword handle from behind it. I started to remember how pissed I was. I shook the sword handle a little and heard a rattle. Whatever it was, it was loose and inside the handle.

To further my investigation, I shook the sword handle harder. I started shaking it even harder and even doing it in the weirdest positions. All of a sudden, the plastic cap flew off and this long sword blade constructed out of it!
WHAT THE…? No shit?

It came out in sections and was about 36″ long.

HOLY SHIT!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

That sword sat behind that couch for months. I had no idea that’s how it worked.

So, I found my camera and I figured out how the Tai-Chi sword works,
It’s been a good day, even though I did come in last place at the Mama’s Little Piggy Mashed Potato Eating Contest  in Hammond, Indiana.

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