Getting Kicked in the Balls

Posted: April 23, 2012 in Hammond High School, Region Rats

Getting kicked in the balls is one of the worst feelings of pain I have ever felt in my life. Unfortunately, I have experience this more times than I’d like to remember.
Here is a brief story of one of those times.

I call this…

The Cup Check

October of 1985 and I was on the freshman football team. A friend of mine named Ryan M. walked up to me and jokingly kicked me in the balls.

He did this at the same time he yelled out, “Cup check!”

Who plays...who don't?

Who plays…who don’t?

It was like in slow motion but there was nothing I could have done. Ryan wasn’t the kind of guy that went around kicking people in the dick…know what I mean? So it was kind of shocking that Ryan actually did this…and of ALL people – me!

Ryan and I are friends, we wouldn’t kick each other in the dick. I take that back…we would kick each other in the dick, but we would both know that it was coming. You would stay on your toes until the threat was clear and some sort of verbal pack would be drawn; a  hand shake and a promise and you were good to go – until next time.

I was walking back into the locker room and I was in the midst of pulling off my chin strap when I saw Ryan walking towards me but he was looking up. He was walking towards me, getting closer and then he pointed up. I automatically looked up to see what he was pointing at.

That’s when I heard Ryan say out loud “Cup check!”.

I didn’t remember at the time exactly what happened – I came to while laying on my back with both my hands firmly supporting my johnson. I had my knees pulled up to my chest and I was rolling back and forth from side to side. I had my eyes shut tight but when I realized what happened, I opened them.

I saw Ryan standing over me bent over with his hands on his knees. He was asking me if I was alright. I remember thinking to myself, “What a great friend, he’s concerned for me.”

The Pain

The only way I can best describe the pain after getting kicked in the balls, is like as if the pain is on the outside of my body. It’s not like a bruised arm or a scratched knee where I can see the injury; where I can interact with it and do what needs to be done. This pain is beyond being able to nurse it – physically. I’m grabbing my balls, but it doesn’t hurt RIGHT there – it’s in the vicinity, but it’s not exactly there in my balls.

From my understanding, the balls are attached coming from the abdomen. That’s why a lot of guys claim to have a deep pain in their stomach after such a tragic event.

Nausea is sometimes experienced, even as far as actually vomiting.urinary-incontinence-103062_640

Some countries are punishing those who kick others in the balls and treating it like a sexual harassment charge to discourage such rude behavior. Being kicked in the balls can have an impact on your ability to reproduce, even to the point to not being able to reproduce at all.

Studies have shown that some males have even had other medical problems related to getting kicked in the balls. Like having digestive problems, difficulty urinating or ejaculating, sometimes the testes have to be removed causing a whole other list of problems.

Please, Don’t Kick in the BALLS

  1. Mike Myers says:

    LMAO, your getting a cup check next time I see you…

  2. […] He ran into that “whatever-that-thing-was” and literally flipped over it.  It caught him right between the legs. […]

  3. Jerry R. Williams says:

    dude, I love your topics … crazily and always true

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